John N
These photographs were taken 12 years apart. They both show me stood next to Roman Stele (stone blocks to commemorate or announce something). The first is at Arbeia in South Shields. Arbeia was the main military port the Roman’s used for supplying Hadrian’s Wall from the east. It was easier to transport bulky goods by sea than land. I’m stood next to a stone which was near the port Commandant’s House and is a symbol of the port.
It was taken two months after my first wife’s death. I am looking much thinner than now and blotchy faced. By this stage I was drinking most days and upwards of four bottles of wine a day and sometimes more. Friends had taken me up to the North East for a week’s break after the trauma of my wife’s Death, which was sudden, unexpected and traumatic - she bled to death and I had to try to save her as she was dying. I had been a heavy, functioning drinker for some years, my wife’s death tipped me over the edge into dependency.
The second photograph is also taken in the North East, at Durham University Archaeological Museum. I am visiting Durham with my second wife. It’s my Birthday and the Archaeological Museum is one of my favourite places, I first visited it in 1998, with my first wife, also on my Birthday. I am standing next to a Stele raised to Fortuna, the Goddess of luck. In Roman Mythology, Fortuna was a Goddess of capricious luck – it could go either way, good or bad, so best to erect a votive Stele seeking the positive support of Fortuna. I’m older, fatter, but healthier looking. It is almost 10 years since I stopped drinking.
Fortuna’s capriciousness has given me some bad times - the horror, trauma, alcohol dependency and subsequent mental health issues flowing from my first wife’s death. But good, frankly extraordinary times and experiences too; my moment of clarity, when I knew that if I stopped drinking and sought treatment and support, everything would be alright, financial security which has allowed me to pursue my own interests including helping others struggling with alcohol dependency, widespread travel and my beautiful, loving, caring, wise new wife.
